All About Obi-Wan
by TheMarauders42
Summary: You wanted deceit? You got it! Obi-Wan tries to face up to two different girls, both of whom think he's the one for them. Infatuated with them both he's contantly switching sides. What a player! :o ;) P.S. Please leave comments and reviews :D ta xx
1. Episode I

Episode I:

Alex: *relaxes on couch in the back of her starship* So, Luke, do you know where they're headed?

Luke: *nods* Yes, I checked their target before they made the jump.

Alex: *smiles* Sweet! Can you put the coordinates into the nav system, please?

Luke: *nods* Sure! *wanders off to the control panel*

Alex: *waits patiently*

Anakin: *dutifully repairs R4 who was hit by a stormtrooper*

Luke: *calls back* We're all set for making the jump into hyperspace! Are you ready?

Alex: Yes! Wait! No! *hurries to the controls* I think it would be best if we switched on the cloaking device first. *flicks switch* Okay, I believe we're good to go now! *smiles at Luke*

Luke: *smiles and nods* *presses button*

*They jump to hyperspace*

*Luke, Alex and Anakin relax, discuss tactics and play games while waiting to come out of hyperspace*

Alex: *glances at chrono* We should be almost there. Let's get ready.

*They head to their positions*

*Ship comes out of hyperspace*

Alex: *looks at viewscreen and notices that there are no starships in sight* Good, we came out far enough away to not be seen. *fiddles with some dials and presses some buttons* *scans area for Bri's starship* *locates ship* *presses buzzer on belt* *waits patiently* *buzzer buzzes back* *speaks to Luke and Anakin via comlink* I've located the ship a fair way out.

Luke: Is it safe to go yet?

Alex: No.

Anakin: Damn. I was hoping for a bit of action.

Alex: Anakin, we've been through this before. We are _not_ going to blow their ship up.

Anakin: No, I agree. It's not the Jedi way. But who's to say we can't just mess with it a bit, maybe blow up their hyperdrive generator or fry their circuiting?

Alex: _Anakin_.

Anakin: Okay, okay! I was just kidding!

Alex: *sarcastically* Sure you were. *buzzer buzzes twice* Is the starfighter ready Luke?

Luke: All prepped.

Alex: Okay, Anakin, let's make our way down to the docking bay.

Anakin: Copy that.

Alex: *walks down to the docking bay, arriving at the same time as Anakin*

Anakin: *climbs into the cockpit*

Luke: *gestures towards the passenger compartment* After you.

Alex: Thanks, Luke. *Smiles* *Climbs in*

Luke: *follows*

Anakin: Everybody ready?

Alex and Luke: Yep!

Anakin: *Takes off through the opening and heads in the direction of Bri's ship* You're sure they won't detect us?

Alex: Positive. This ship has the highest security system.

Anakin: Why does that not reassure me?

Alex: Well, it should, because this is one of the most high-tech stealth ships in the galaxy.

Anakin: Right.

Alex: We _won't_ be detected.

Anakin: Sure. Would you like to bet on that? Winner gets 5000 credits.

Alex: *glares* You're on. I _will_ win this one.

Anakin: That'll be a first.

Alex: Shut up!

Anakin: Yes, ma'am.

*Ship draws closer*

Alex: See, what did I tell you? We're basically at their doorstep and they haven't noticed us.

Anakin: *fiddles with switches* Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but they've taken over our controls and are now guiding us in. So much for your security system. It looks like I'm about to be 5000 credits richer.

Alex: *Ignores the last comment* This is all part of the plan. Don't worry.

Anakin: *huffs* Whatever.

*Ships draws in to docking bay* *lands safely*

Anakin: *clambers out* *pulls out lightsaber*

Luke: *does the same*

Alex: *follows but does not draw lightsaber*

Luke: There's no one here.

Anakin: Well, what did you expect? A welcome party?

Luke: No.

Anakin: *turns to Alex* You know, your plan has probably backfired and now they're going to gas us or blow us up or something.

Alex: Hush. Why are you always so pessimistic?

Anakin: I'm not –

*blast doors open* *Obi-Wan rushes in*

Alex: *runs to meet him*

Obi-Wan: *pulls Alex into a tight embrace*

Alex: I've missed you.

Obi-Wan: I've missed you too. But there's no time. She's unconscious but I don't know how long for.

Alex: I understand.

*They start making preparations*

Alex: How'd you do it?

Obi-Wan: Knock her unconscious? Well, when she was checking some of the power stats, Chewie bumped into her. He was originally going to drug her but he bumped her a little too hard and she fell and whacked her head. There's a lovely massive lump on her head now, right between the eyes. *Smiles reminiscently*

Alex: *laughs* I see. Where is she now?

Obi-Wan: Locked in the sleeping quarters.

*They move out into the hallway and encounter Chewie, Han, R2 and C3PO*

*Alex, Luke and Anakin greet everyone*

Han: So where are we going?

Alex: Away from here. Let's go!

*They move quickly back to the docking bay*

Alex: *hesitates* Umm… I don't think there's enough room for everyone… Unless we stuff the droids in the cargo hold… But I don't think they'd appreciate that.

R2: *Whistles*

Alex: *Thinking quickly* Anakin, I want you to sabotage our ship. Disable the controls, destroy the cloaking device, shields, weapons and security system. I then want you to program a hyperdrive course to some distant planet on the other side of the galaxy. Make sure we can control the ship through this one and set the hyperdrive so that it will fry when it comes out of the jump.

Anakin: *nods* *gets to work*

Alex: Han, Chewie, start unpacking the cargo hold. In there you'll find a whole set of dummies. Set them up in the cockpit and passenger seats but leave one space free.

Han and Chewie: *get to work*

Alex: Obi-Wan, let's go get Bri.

Obi-Wan: *nods*

*They rush out the door and hurry to the sleeping quarters*

Alex: I can't feel her presence. She must still be asleep.

Obi-Wan: I agree. *Opens door* *Picks up the unconscious Bri*

Alex: I see what you mean about the bump. It's humongous!

*They rush back to the ship*

Alex: How's it going, Anakin?

Anakin: *checks over the ship quickly* All done!

Obi-Wan: *Shoves Bri into passenger seat next to the dummies*

*Ship seals*

*Everyone moves through the blast doors which close behind them*

Anakin: *rushes to control panel* Okay. Starfighter is now exiting the docking bay. Ship clear for the jump. *turns to Alex* Would you like the honours?

Alex: Definitely. *presses button*

*Starfighter jumps to lightspeed*

Alex: Let's get back to our starship. I don't like the feel of this one.

*Everyone murmurs agreement*

*They head back to the starship, send the captured ship off into space and detonate it*

In the living quarters once safely on a new course:

Anakin: You owe me 5000 credits.

Alex: Do not!

Anakin: You said we wouldn't be detected.

Alex: And we weren't.

Anakin: Yes, we were. Obi-Wan detected us and took over our controls so that he could guide us in. So technically you lost the bet. Now hand over the money.

Alex: What?! That's so unfair. *Slaps Anakin on the arm* I did not lose the bet. Obi-Wan knew the code to override the system. He knew we were coming.

Anakin: Yes, but technically –

Alex: I don't care about technically! I'm not giving you the money!

Anakin: Whatever, you're just a sore loser.

Alex: Deal with it. *leaves the room* *finds Obi-Wan in her private sleeping quarters* Hey there! *Smiles*

Obi-Wan: *Smiles* *Gets up and hugs Alex* What took you so long?

Alex: Nothing, just fighting over a bet with Anakin.

Obi-Wan: You lost again, didn't you?

Alex: No, I didn't! He –

Obi-Wan: *laughs* I'm just messing with you. Come on, it's late. *Climbs into bed*

Alex: *sighs* *Gets into bed and snuggles next to Obi-Wan* Why do I always lose?

Obi-Wan: *laughs*


	2. Episode II

Episode II

*Bri wakes up from her unconscious state to find herself buckled into a passenger seat in Alex's starfighter*

Bri: *murmurs* Great…

*Bri unbuckles herself moves to the controls* *She throws away one of the dummies to make room for herself and sits down* *Bri starts fiddling with the controls*

Bri: Great! They're jammed! ..of course… Lucky I'm smarter than Alex and can override just about anything…

*Bri sets to work trying to override the systems…*

…Meanwhile…. Elsewhere…..

Anakin: *to Alex* She's trying to override our controls

Alex: *holding Obi-Wan around the waist* Well don't let her!

Anakin: That could be difficult…

*R2 beeps in agreement*

Alex: *ignoring R2* I don't care! Just do something!

Obi-Wan: *releasing Alex* Maybe I can help, after all, I did override her systems

Alex: Fair enough. Okay then, I'll be in my quarters reminiscing….. Probably reading star wars….which reminds me! Hey, Anakin! Did you know they feature your butt in there?!

Anakin: Seriously?! *nods like a cool kid* Sweeeeet *turns to Obi-Wan* Hey! Obi-wan! *Bends over and turns his butt towards his him* *chants and teases* My butt's in a book! My butt's in a book!

Obi-Wan: That's nothing to be proud of you foolish child. Now help me with these systems.

Alex: Yeah, so anywayyyy….. I'm gunna keep reading about Anakin's butt, good luck *blows Obi-Wan a kiss who doesn't notice and therefore ignores it*

*As soon as Alex has left Obi-Wan hold Anakin in a neck hold and Anakin falls to the ground unconscious*

Obi-Wan: *sarcastically* ..oops

*Sits down in the control chair and hooks up communication systems to connect and signal Bri* *Hears Bri yelling at the switch board because none of the buttons will work*

Obi-Wan: Bri?

Bri: Obi-Wan?! Where are you?!

Obi-Wan: Calm down. For one, I'm not there. I'm stuck in Alex's space ship.

Bri: You have a lot of explaining to do!

Obi-Wan: I know but listen. Chewy and Han have sided with Alex and I think she may have convinced R2 and 3PO as well. Lucky for me I still have R4 but we both know how he can be sometimes..

Bri: *coughs* useless

Obi-Wan: *laughs* Yes… something like that. Anyway, look, they've got control of the ship now but I'm transferring controls over... *fiddles with buttons and switches like a boss* now.

Bri: *finally getting control of the ship* Yes! My god! You are ah-mazing!

Obi-Wan: Don't you know it *winks even though Bri can't see* ..I just winked at you by the way

Bri: And I just blew a kiss

Obi-Wan: That I just caught

*Anakin has regained consciousness*

Anakin: Oh get over yourselves!

*Obi-Wan whacks him over the head with the television remote that just so happened to be sitting next to the control panel*

Obi-Wan: Look, I've got to go, before anyone catches me. I'm sending through our current co-ordinates and our destination. Please catch us up. Quickly. I don't know how much longer I can keep this charade going. It's painful.

Bri: I know. I'm sorry. Just hang in there. I'm setting up the hyper-drive now. If you could do me one more favour and 'accidentally' take the ship out of hyperspace, tell them you needed to do it to stop me or something, and I'll be there faster than you can say antidisestablishmentarianism . Okay?

Obi-Wan: Done. See you soon.

Bri: But soon won't be soon enough….

Obi-Wan: I know! Okay, well, I should get back to Alex before suspicions arise. I await your arrival.

Bri: As do I

*Communications are cut and Obi-Wan wakes Anakin*

*Obi-Wan – thinking – stupid charade. Only a few more hours and I'll be outta here and back with Bri again* *Obi-Wan sighs and gets flustered just thinking about her* *Obi-Wan focuses back on Anakin and tries to think of a lie…*

Obi-Wan: Anakin! Are you okay?!

*Anakin stirs and holds his head which has a massive lump on it that looks like a tracker-jacker sting* *Anakin groans*

Obi-Wan: Ouch, that looks like it hurts. Come on, up we get. *helps Anakin up* You look smashed. I get why too. One of those crazy psycho storm troopers we 'borrowed' from Bri went bizzerk and started whacking people left right and centre. Looks like he got you pretty hard too.

Anakin: But you…were….Bri….

Obi-Wan: What?! That loser?! What would I want to do with her and her long blonde hair…. And gorgeous blue eyes…. And…. *shakes head* we're getting off track. Let's get you bandaged up, then I should go and check on Alex….

*they walk off to fix up Anakin and then Obi-Wan proceeds to Alex who has no suspicions what-so-ever*

In another part of the galaxy….

Bri: man… it's so nice just to hear his voice again… *shakes head* focus Bri, focus

*Bri can't focus* *Bri turns on the space radio that's playing some weird blues songs, grabs the controls and starts bobbing around* *Bri starts making up her own words to accompany the song on the space radio*

Bri: *singing* I'm gunna put the ship into hyper-drive, hyper-drive *puts the ship into hyper-drive* and then I'm gunna blow Alex to pieces….eventually…. *dances and makes her fingers into guns and starts shooting them around the ship and makes 'pew pew pew' noises*

*the space radio turns off suddenly and there is an incoming transmission* *Bri doesn't notice and is still pretending she has a gun and is making 'pew pew pew' noises"

Voice on the other end: Ahem..

Bri: *startled* um…. Hi…. Who's this?

Voice: doesn't matter… nice gun by the way

Bri: *sits up proudly* thank you, I made it myself

Voice: Very impressive. But anyway, I am here to inform you that your ships number plate has been drawn out of the competition at the gas station on the corner of One Space Star and Yet Another Space Star. I am also pleased to inform you that you have won 1, 000, 000 credits!

Bri: But this is- *she cuts herself off* definitely my ship and I would be happy to accept such a prize. When do I pick it up?

Voice: I just need to grab your detail and it will be transferred into you space bank right away.

*Bri gives the alien her details*

Bri: Great! Thank you so much

*The alien disappears*

Bri: okayyy then…. Let's do this

*Bri turns on Alex's so called undetectable cloaking device which is actually undetectable, because Alex was right and she technically did win the bet because Obi-Wan knew they were already coming* *ship comes out of hyperspace*

Bri: Brilliant, undetected. How amazing am I?!

*There is silence*

Bri: that's right… I'm alone… but I won't be for long!

*Bri moves towards her ship*

Bri: man, I'll be so glad to have my ship back

*Bri docks the ship and gets out silently and keeps to the walls, making her way to Alex's quarters* *Bri gets to Alex's quarters to find Alex and Obi-Wan sitting on her bed* *Obi-Wan looks distressed* *Obi-Wan notices Bri who makes a gesture to be quiet which he obeys* *Luckily for Bri, Alex is facing with her back to her and Obi-Wan is facing her*

*Bri runs forward and grabs Alex in a headlock and knocks her unconscious*

Bri: *turns to Obi-Wan* I never got a chance to thank you for teaching me that move *Bri leans in and kisses Obi-Wan who is flustered*

Obi-Wan: ah…ah…

Bri: Thanks *winks* Now let's go

*Obi-Wan comes to his senses and follows Bri out* *Both of them pull out their light sabers* *They are creeping down the halls when they run into Anakin who spots them* *Obi-Wan begins to run towards him but Bri stops him*

Bri: I got this. *Bri approaches Anakin and kisses him square on the lips* *Bri turns t Obi-Wan who does not look impressed* I'll make it up to you later, but for now, *she looks at Anakin*, I think we have a new recruit.

*Anakin nods, dazed* *Bri walks back over to Obi-Wan and kisses him*

Bri: let's go. Chewy owes me. He's just lucky I found an injection that would reduce the swelling, but still

Obi-Wan: Let's just leave him, and Han

Bri: we have to get rid of them somehow! I want my ship back!

Obi-Wan: Yes, and you'll have it *he holds Bri's face in his hands and she is hypnotized by his eyes* I promise

*Bri nods, entranced* *Obi-Wan kisses her on the forehead*

Obi-Wan: Now come on

*Bri and Obi-Wan start to leave* *Obi-Wan turns back and grabs Anakin by the collar*

Obi-Wan: Both of you  
Anakin: Right

*they are running down the corridors towards the control room* *Han and Chewie appear before them*

Obi-Wan: we have to take down you too?

*chewie roars*

Han: *looks at chewie, then at Obi-Wan and shakes his head* *breathlessly* no! You have to get us out of here! It's a hell hole! I thought living with Bri was bad

Bri: Gee, thanks

Han: sorry, but Alex is unbearable! Please! Take us with you!

*Chewie roars and nods in agreement*

Bri: *looks at Obi-Wan who nods* fine, take us to the control room

*they are all led to the control room*

Anakin: wait! What are we going to do about Alex?

Bri: well…. We could deplete her with the garbage

*everyone laughs*

Anakin: But wouldn't that kill her?

Bri: yeah…. And that would be too easy… *thinks* Chewie! Go get the fishbowl from the bathroom, flush the fish in the atomic toilet, drain the water and bring the bowl to me, Han, go and get some duct tape. Anakin, go fetch Alex, make sure she's unconscious. She's about to be depleted.

*everyone goes to fetch the required equipment and Bri and Obi-Wan are left alone*

Bri: *with arms wrapped around Obi-Wan who returns the gesture* It's good to finally have you back

Obi-Wan: tell me about it

Bri: well…. *she looks up at him*

*they both laugh*

Obi-Wan: I'm sorry I let her do that, but I had to make sure she trusted me

Bri: It's okay, I forgive you. *buries her head in his neck* I missed you you know

Obi-Wan: And I you *he plants a kiss on here forehead*

*Bri smiles* *they are just standing there silently looking out at the stars*

Bri: you know, one day, I'll discover a star or a planet or an asteroid, and I'll name it ….. um.. I'll work that out later, but if we can, we go and live on it away form everyone and everything, just you and me. It'll be perfect.

Obi-Wan: Perfect

*Han and Chewy burst in through the doors with the fishbowl and duct tape*

Bri: where's Anakin

Han: probably still struggling with Alex

*Obi-Wan rushes to the side of the doorway and Bri stays planted where she is*

Bri: *to Obi-Wan* *whispers* I can sense her

Obi-Wan: As can I

Alex: *walking through the doorway* I've found Anakin!

*Bri glares at her* *Alex has Anakin in a headlock*

Anakin: Hey guys

Bri: seriously?! I knew I should've gone myself

Alex: Ahem, focus over here! *noticing the fishbowl* *gasps* where's fluffy!?

Bri: oh? The fish? Yeah, we flushed him down the atomic toilet into outer space

Alex: *releasing Anakin* How dare y-

*Obi-Wan grabs her from behind in a headlock*

Obi-Wan: you miss me?

*Alex is speechless*

Bri: sorry to ruin the party but I've got to fly. Goodbye Alex *Bri nods at Obi-Wan who knocks her unconscious…again* man, how many times do you have to knock a person out before they understand they're not wanted?!

Anakin: Many I guess

Bri: I suppose so. Chewie, put the fishbowl over her head, Han, tape it around her neck, then _I'll _go and take her to the garbage

*Everyone follows their orders* *Obi-Wan picks up Alex and throws her carelessly over his shoulder*

Obi-Wan: Let's take out the trash

*They both take Alex the garbage chute* *Bri opens the chute and Obi-Wan throws her in* *they both walk back to the control room* *Bri presses the button that depletes the garbage and everyone watches as Alex is depleted off into space...further….and further….and further…..and further…..and further…..and further…..and further away until we can't even see her through our space telescope*

Anakin: did we give her any food?

Bri: no, she can't eat through that fishbowl anyway

Obi-Wan: *grabs Bri's hand* let's go, I'm tired

*they both walk to Bri's quarters, give it a good clean, ridding the room of Alex completely and Bri falls onto her bed*

Bri: It's good to have my quarters back …and my bed

*Obi-Wan lies down next to her and Bri snuggles up against him*

Bri: We're going to have to keep an eye on Chewie and Han you know

Obi-Wan: I know….

Bri: just to make sure… *beeps Anakin* Anakin, can you please lock up Chewy and Han in the storage cupboard, but make sure it's empty first, then, going and find 3PO and R2 and shut them down, then lock them up somewhere too, make sure there's no control panel on the inside or anything R2 can crack, then go and find Luke and lock him in the toilet….actually, don't so that, I might need it later…. Lock him in the kitchen cupboard.

Obi-Wan: that's exactly why I love you more than Alex

Bri: hm?

Obi-Wan: You know exactly what you want done and you think of just about everything

Bri: that's why I always win bets against Alex

*Obi-Wan and Bri both laugh*


	3. Episode III

Episode III:

- Somewhere in space -

Alex: *wakes up* *looks around* Uhhmm… This is interesting… *fiddles around on belt, pulls off a very high powered, long long distance comlink with a impressive security system and scrambling device* *punches in code* *lifts comlink to mouth to speak, only the glass fish bowl stops her from doing so* Blast! Okay.. What to do, what to do? Oh yeah! My Bluetooth device! *uses the force to turn on her Bluetooth device which allows her to speak into the comlink* Anakin! Anakin! Do you copy?

Anakin: Alex? Alex! You're still alive! I thought you would be dead by now!

Alex: Pessimist… Have faith, Anakin. Han did a pretty good job at taping the fish bowl to my neck. I think I've got a few hours yet. Is it safe for you to talk?

Anakin: Yes, tho – ow!

Alex: What happened?

Anakin: Blast, Chewie! That hurt!

Alex: What's going on?

Anakin: Bri ordered me to lock Han and Chewie in the storage cupboard. I've been having some difficulty.

Alex: *laughs* Good luck with that!

Anakin: *huffs*

Alex: Tell them it's only temporary. I have a plan to get you out of there.

Anakin: Well, it had better be good! We're on a pretty tight leash here. It hasn't even been an hour since she took over the ship and I'm already suffocating!

Alex: Don't fret, Annie. I'll get you out of there.

Anakin: I think it would be best if you got yourself out of your current dilemma first.

Alex: Oh. Yeah. That would be a good idea, wouldn't it? Okay, well, I should get to work on that. I'll com you when I'm ready to set the plan in action. Make sure everyone is prepared for Escape Plan number 7.

Anakin: Which is?

Alex: *exasperated* Really? Remember that guide I gave you? It's in there.

Anakin: What guide?

Alex: Anakin!

Anakin: Ok! Ok! I'm only kidding! I'll read up on it now and then inform the others.

Alex: You'd better! I'll talk to you later! Love you!

Anakin: Love you too! May the Force be with you!

Alex: May the Force be with you, Anakin. *disconnects comlink* *punches in another code* Hey, where are you? I'm in a spot of trouble. - Sweet! I'll activate my homing beacon now. *activates beacon* - Thanks so much! I'll see you soon!

*Alex floats patiently* *ship arrives out of hyperspace* *smaller ship disengages and comes out to rescue Alex* *Alex gets in and returns to ship*

- Onboard –

Alex: Thanks, Boba! I owe you one!

Boba: No problem. How'd you come to be floating in space with a fishbowl taped to your head?

Alex: Uh… Long story. I'd rather not explain it at the moment.

Boba: Fair enough. Do you have a destination?

Alex: Yes, though I need to contact my friends first.

*Alex sets up comlink*

Alex: Anakin?

Anakin: I'm here. Are you safe?

Alex: Yes. Is everything prepared?

Anakin: Yup. Where are we headed?

Alex: Corellia. But I have a slight problem. I don't have enough credits for what I want to do.

Anakin: How much do you need?

Alex: One million.

Anakin: Oh. I don't have that much.

Alex: Nor do I. What about the others? Maybe we could all toss some money in.

Anakin: I don't know. They're all locked up. I don't think I could risk asking them at the moment.

Alex: Okay. I'll com them. Stand by. *coms Han* Han, do you happen to have one million credits that you don't need?

Han: Seriously, kid? I wouldn't be here if I did!

Alex: What about Chewie?

Han: Uh. No.

Alex: Blast… well, do you have _any_ credits that we could use?

Han: Not many.

Alex: Okay. Thanks, Han.

Han: Good to hear from you!

Alex: And you! Bye! *coms Luke* Luke! How many credits do you have?

Luke: Um. None. Tatooine doesn't deal in credits.

Alex: Blast! Do you know where we could get any?

Luke: Umm.. *thinks* Actually, I do!

Alex: Really? Great! How?

Luke: Well . . . I was fiddling around with my receiver earlier and I picked up a transmission. Bri's ship, well technically _your_ ship, was randomly selected for a one million credit prize. The money was transferred into her bank account and luckily I got her details. We can use them to get the credits!

Alex: You're amazing, Luke! I love you! Can I have the details? I think it would be best if I got the money out, I'll sound less suspicious.

Luke: *Tells her the details*

Alex: Thanks, Luke! Our plan will be in action soon so get ready!

Luke: I already am.

Alex: You're amazing! Await my word. May the Force be with you!

Luke: May the Force be with you!

Alex: *disconnects comlink* *steals Bri's money* *coms friend on Corellia* Hey! You know that thing I asked for a while ago? Is it ready?

Friend: Yes.

Alex: Great! I'm in need of it! I'll be arriving soon so get it ready. I have the money as well.

Friend: Will do.

Alex: Bye! *disconnects link* *coms Anakin*

Anakin: So you got the money? That was quick!

Alex: Yup! All thanks to Luke! Now, are you ready?

Anakin: Definitely.

Alex: Okay. Start moving. I'll see you at Corellia.

Anakin: This is where the fun begins. We'll see you there!

Alex: Be careful!

Anakin: When am I not?

Alex: Don't make me answer that.

Anakin: May the Force be with you! *disconnects link*

Alex: *looks at Boba Fett* Is our course set?

Boba: Yup.

Alex: Good. *Sits down in passenger seat* Let's go!

- On Bri's ship, somewhere in space -

Anakin: *lets Han and Chewie out, activates the droids and lets Luke out* Okay, does everyone know the plan off by heart?

*Everyone nods*

Anakin: Good. Let's get moving!

Han and Chewie: *move off to the ship (the snazzy, undetectable one) to prepare, taking the droids with them*

*Luke and Anakin move towards Bri's chambers*

Anakin: *Reaches out with the force* They're both in there. Good.

*They move closer to the door*

Anakin: *presses button*

*The doors open. Bri and Obi-Wan are sitting on the bed, talking. They both look up.*

Anakin: Obi-Wan, we need you at the controls; something's wrong.

Obi-Wan: Then why are you coming to me? Aren't you supposed to be the one who's good with machines?

Anakin: Well . . . This is different. I've never seen anything like it before. Luke doesn't know what to do either. I think Alex messed up the controls and I need your help to fix it.

Obi-Wan: *Gets off bed and moves towards Anakin* Very well, though I can't guarantee I'm going to be much help. You know I'm no expert with machines.

Anakin: *nods* I appreciate it, Obi-Wan. *Steps sideways to let Obi-Wan through the door*

*As Obi-Wan passes, Anakin grabs him by the collar, spins him around to face Bri and whips out his lightsaber. He holds it in front of Obi-Wan's neck*

Luke: *ignites lightsaber and points it at Bri*

Bri: *gaps in shock* What's going on?

Anakin: *edges out into the hallway, lightsaber still at Obi-Wan's throat* We're leaving.

Obi-Wan: *struggles against Anakin and then gives up, moving slowly backwards with him*

Bri: What!? You can't do that!

Luke: And why not?

Bri:Because I won't let you!

Luke: *Force-pulls Bri's lightsaber from her belt*

Bri: *tries to grab it back* Hey!

Luke: I'd like to see you try.

Bri: *gets ready to throw a punch*

Luke: *force-pushes her against the wall*

*Blood trickles from Bri's scalp*

*Obi-Wan and Anakin arrive in the hanger bay and scramble into the starfighter*

Anakin: *yells out* Luke!

Luke: *hears Anakin* If you'll excuse me. *Bows mockingly* *runs to the hangar bay*

Bri: *remains on bed, startled* *shakes head* *gets up and chases after Luke*

Luke: *jumps into starfighter*

*starfighter seals*

Bri: *arrives in hangar bay* *watches as the ship takes off into space* Blast! *runs up to the controls and gets their coordinates* *follows them into hyperspace*

- In starfighter –

Luke: *holds up Bri's lightsaber* Was I meant to take this?

Anakin: Um . . . No. But I have an idea! *Holds out hand* Give it here!

Luke: *hands over lightsaber* What're you going to do?

Anakin: You'll see. *Dismantles the lightsaber*

Obi-Wan: I don't think Bri will be happy with you if she finds out what you've done to it.

Anakin: I don't care. I don't want her happiness. Anyway, she _will_ find out what I've done to it. I can't wait to see her face when she does. *laughs* *fiddles some more*

- A couple of hours later -

*Starfighter comes out of hyperspace and proceeds to the given coordinates on Corellia*

Han: I wonder what her plan is.

Anakin: Same here.

Luke: I'm sure it's something good.

Anakin: Agreed.

*They touch down on a landing dock* *Everyone piles out*

Alex: *rushes down to meet them*

*Group hug*

Alex: I'm so glad you all made it. Did you have any difficulties?

Anakin: None whatsoever. It was great!

Alex: Did she follow us?

Anakin: Yes.

Alex: Good. Come with me.

*They all follow Alex into the building*

Alex: Okay, everyone. I want you to go through that door and stay there. If you so desire, there are viewscreens which you can pull up if you want to see the action.

*Everyone moves towards the door*

Alex: Oh! Obi-Wan! I need you for something!

Obi-Wan: *Turns around*

*The door closes, everyone piles into the viewing room and fights over the best seats*

Obi-Wan: *Moves towards Alex, smiling* I was beginning to wonder if you'd forgotten about me.

Alex: Don't be silly! *Hugs him tightly* I've just been a bit preoccupied. I want this to go perfectly.

Obi-Wan: As do I. *Kisses her on the forehead*

Alex: You know my plan?

Obi-Wan: Of course. It's quite obvious.

Alex: *pulls back slightly, worried* Will she realise?

Obi-Wan: Not until it hits her.

Alex: Are you sure?

Obi-Wan: Positive. I'm willing to bet on it if you like.

Alex: *Laughs* No, I trust your judgement.

*Ships lands outside*

Alex: *looks at Obi-Wan* Okay, I'm going to tie you up. I hope you don't mind.

Obi-Wan: *Smiles* Not at all.

*Alex ties him up to a pole at the end of the room, opposite the entrance*

Alex: When she starts to untie you I'll come.

Obi-Wan: *nods* *leans in and kisses Alex* Don't be long.

Alex: *Smiles* I won't. *Runs into the viewing room*

*Everyone's still fighting over chairs*

Alex: Hush! It's time!

Luke: How do we see what's going on?

Alex: Turn on the viewscreens.

Luke: Yeah, but how?

Alex: *Rolls eyes* *Presses big blue button that says 'Viewscreen'*

Luke: Oh. Thanks.

*Everyone watches*

Bri: *Runs into the room* Obi-Wan!

Obi-Wan: Bri! Don't! It's a trap!

Bri: *Laughs* Don't worry! They can't fool me! *runs towards Obi-Wan* *trips over*

Obi-Wan: *hides laughter*

Anakin: *laughs quietly*

Alex: *Glares at him* What did you do?

Anakin: Nothing! Nothing! I swear!

Bri: *looks around to see what she tripped over* My lightsaber?! *Picks it up and scrambles to her feet* *runs towards Obi-Wan* I've missed you so much even though it's only been a couple of hours!

Obi-Wan: I've missed you too, Bri.

Bri: I can't believe what Anakin did! What they all did!

Obi-Wan: I know.

Bri: *Unties Obi-Wan* But now we can be together again!

Obi-Wan: I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Bri: What? *Turns around, following Obi-Wan's gaze*

Alex: *points lightsaber at Bri* Did you really think it would be that easy?

Bri: *Draws lightsaber*

Alex: He did warn you it was a trap.

Bri: *snarls* *ignites lightsaber*

Obi-Wan: *Fails to hide laughter this time*

Alex: *o.O*

Bri: *looks down in concern at her lightsaber*

Alex: *rolls eyes* *mutters* Anakin…

Anakin: *watching viewscreen* *cracks up laughing*

Bri: *jabs the lightsaber, which is now only 20cm in length, at Alex*

Alex: *dodges*

Obi-Wan: *laughs*

Bri: *sighs* *turns off lightsaber and snaps it back to her belt* *force-pulls Obi-Wan's lightsaber from his belt and ignites it*

Alex: *spins lightsaber, ready for action*

*They fight while Obi-Wan rushes into the control room and flicks a lever*

*A circular section of the floor in the middle of the room begins to sink* *Bri continues to fight without noticing*

Alex: *pushes Bri towards the centre of the room, closer to the 2m deep hole*

Obi-Wan: *Rushes back into the room* Bri!

Bri: *Looks at Obi-Wan*

Alex: *Force-pulls Obi-Wan's lightsaber from her grip*

Bri: *Looks at Alex, stunned and tries to grab it back*

Alex: *Smiles* Good night.

Bri: *Puzzled* Wha—

Alex: *Pushes Bri, who tumbles into the circular chasm*

*Steam rushes up from the hole*

Alex: *Looks at Obi-Wan, who is smiling happily* Bring her up. I need to check that it worked.

Obi-Wan: *nods* *rushes into the control room and flicks another switch*

*The circular platform rises, a solid brick of carbonite on top of it.*

Alex: *moves forward to look at Bri, who is frozen with an extremely amusing look of shock and fear on her face* *Smiles*

*Everyone comes into the room to look* *They laugh*

Alex: Okay, everyone. Go back to the ship. There are coordinates entered which will take you to my apartment. I will meet you there later.

*Everyone leaves but Obi-Wan lingers*

Alex: *Hugs him* Thanks for distracting her.

Obi-Wan: No problem. I'd happily do it again. The look on her face when you took my lightsaber was hilarious.

Alex: Speaking of your lightsaber. *Hands it back to him* Now, I have things to do. Please go with everyone else. I'd like to do this by myself.

Obi-Wan: Sure thing. *Kisses her lightly on the lips* I'll be waiting.

Alex: *Smiles as he walks out* *turns to the carbonite block* *checks vitals* What a shame . . . she's still alive. Oh, well. She'll make a nice trophy, not that I'm going to keep her. *Scans the block for tracking signals or any other communications device* No signals present. They would've been wiped out by the carbonite anyway. *Tips block over onto an antigrav trolley* *pushes block through the building to another landing dock* *loads block into cargo hold of a transport ship* *destroys the unfreezing button and places the block into an impenetrable case of extremely thick duracrete through which a force field and lasers run* *walks off to find captain*

Captain: *narrows eyes suspiciously when he sees Alex* Who're you?

Alex: *Waves hand* You will take the cargo to Kamino. Find the remotest place you can and dump it into ocean.

Captain: *nods, eyes blank*

Alex: *Waves hand* You will tell no one of this mission. You will head directly to Kamino and not stop for anyone. Make sure no one follows you or knows where you drop it or what it contains. Make it untraceable. Once you are done you will forget this order and the location of the cargo.

Captain: *nods*

Alex: You will forget this meeting. You will forget my face. *waves hand* Now, go.

Captain: *Blinks* *Hurries away*

Alex: *Watches the ship take off*

- At Alex's Apartment -

Alex: *Lands starfighter* *enters apartment*

*Everyone smiles at her then return to their conversations*

Alex: *walks over to Anakin and Obi-Wan who're playing a game of cards* I thought you don't like card games, Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan: Well, they pass the time. *Smiles* Did you do whatever you wanted to do?

Alex: *Nods*

Obi-Wan: So we won't be seeing Bri in a while I take it?

Alex: *Nods again*

Obi-Wan: *Smiles* Good.

Anakin: *slaps down a card* I win!

Obi-Wan: Blast! *Flips cards down onto the table* I knew I shouldn't have made that last move!

Anakin: Yeah, you shouldn't have! Ha ha! I win again!

Obi-Wan: As per usual. What did you expect?

Anakin: *Smiles cheekily then looks at Alex* Hey! Alex! We got you something!

Alex: Oh, really? You didn't have to, you know.

Anakin: Oh, but we did. *Runs into another room* *returns with a fishbowl with a fish inside*

Alex: Awww, thank you! *Hugs Anakin and then Obi-Wan* What should we call it?

Obi-Wan: He's already named it.

Alex: Oh, of course. And what is it called?

Anakin: Cheesecake!

Alex: *O.o* Dare I ask why?

Obi-Wan: Because he was hungry and had a craving for cheesecake.

Alex: *laughs* You're a riot, Anakin!

Anakin: *Smiles*

Obi-Wan: *Yawns* It's late. I think we should all go to bed.

Alex: Agreed. We'll be leaving tomorrow so everyone needs to rest up.

*Everyone goes to their rooms*

Alex: *climbs into bed*

Obi-Wan: *does the same*

Alex: *Snuggles closer to him* It's good to have you back.

Obi-Wan: It's good to be back. *Kisses her*

- On Kamino, some 4.242 km 42cm and 42mm below the surface -

*The duracrete box holding Bri encased in carbonite finally hits the bottom of the ocean*

*Above the surface, the transport ship flies away and the captain forgets everything about the task, having been successful at completing his mission and not letting anyone find out about it*


	4. Episode IV

Episode IV

-Somewhere in Forest Hills-

Peter Parker (just so we're clear, it's the Peter Parker from the new Spiderman, cause he's hotter :P ;)): *Shivers* My Spidey Senses are tingling. I should beep Batman!

*beeps for Batman over a super intercom thingy* *Batman picks up*

Batman: Yello, I'm Batman (like those youtube clips)

Peter: Bruce, it's Peter. My spidey senses are tingling again; something's up.

Batman: okay, first, no Bruce. I'm Batman at the moment and second *thinks* ..hmm…

Peter: *thinking* *has lightbulb* Hey, when was the last time you saw Bri?

Batman: *recalling* um.. not sure. You don't think she's..?

Peter: she could be. Something's not right.

Batman: Okay, I'll be over shortly

-2 minutes later-

*Batman pulls up in his Batmobile in Peter's (who is now Spiderman's) driveway*

Spiderman: that was quick

Batman: It's the Batmobile; of course it's quick. ..Besides, I was already pretty close

Spiderman: right well, let's go.

Batman: where to?

Spiderman: Not sure. Just drive. My Spidey Senses will do the rest

*they are driving almost aimlessly* *Batman starts whistling* *Spiderman turns on the radio so he doesn't have to listen to Batman* *Batman starts yelling at Spiderman and turns off the radio* *there is silence*

Batman: soo…. In a fight between you and me, who do you think would win?

Spiderman: Seriously?

Batman: just curious

Spiderman: well, it's simple: me

Batman: really? You? I don't think so

Spiderman: and why not?

Batman: Cause I have tonnes of cool gadgets and a totally awesome and totally wizard cape…all you can do is shoot webs and climb up walls. That's why people love me more than you

Spiderman: but…but-

Batman: And I can blend in with the night

Spiderman: Well, I can do that too! Hey…what if…. what if they combined us….? We'd be..Biderman! Or…or Spatman! Yeah! Spatman!

Batman: *facepalm* oh dear. Listen kid, this is why they don't hire teenagers, because of what you're doing now. Now focus. What are your Spidey Senses telling you now?

Spiderman: She's close

Batman: But we're almost at the ocean

Spiderman: That's where she is then. Wait! My Spidey Senses are picking up something else…they're telling me that she's 4.242 km….42 metres…42cm..and 42mm under the surface.

Batman: you got all that from your Spidey Senses?

Spiderman: *smiles proudly* Yup. Now let's go

*Batman presses the button that turns the Batmobile into the Batsub*

Batman: *In a voice lower than usual (cause he's trying to be funny)* let's do this thing

*they glide through the water, going lower, and lower, and lower* *Batman turns on the Batsub's headlights* *then he turns on the radio*

Spiderman: *seeing something glinting in the distance, reflecting the light of the headlights* *pointing* Batman! What's that?!

Batman: *squints* I'm not sure. Let's get a closer look

*Batman accelerates and get closer to the glinting object*

Batman: Oh, it's just an open treasure chest filled with lots and lots of treasure

Spiderman: Wait! My Spidey Senses are tingling again!

*Spiderman closes his eyes and puts his finger to his forehead, pretending to look psychic for effect*

Spiderman: She's close. I can sense it

*They proceed through the ocean and finally find Bri*

Batman: *coolly* There she is

Spiderman: What have they done to her?!

Batman: Looks like carbonite

*Spiderman looks at him questioningly*

Batman: It's a Star Wars thing

Spiderman: oh

*Batman initializes the robot hands of his Batsub and grabs Bri* *The robot hands bring Bri into the Batsub* *Bri is placed in a special compartment where lasers and other nifty Batsub gadgets get to work trying to get her out of the carbonite*

-15 minutes later-

*Bri is released from the carbonite, still unconscious* *Batman and Spiderman rush to get her and bring her into the main cabin* *Spiderman stares at in awe*

Batman: *slapping Spiderman across the face* Oi kid! Wake up! *mutters* ...this is why we don't recruit kids…

Spiderman: *rubbing his cheek* ah, ouch!

Batman: stay focused

*Spiderman glares*

Batman: she's unconscious, she may need CPR

Spiderman: *his hand shoots up* *eagerly* I'll do it!

Batman: Are you always like this around girls?

Spiderman: *sighs dreamily* only the uber pretty ones

Batman: *rolls eyes* fine

Spiderman: Yes!

*Spiderman gives Bri mouth to mouth* *Bri gasps*

Batman: *chuckling slightly* Hey Bri, good to see you again

Bri: *trying to catch her breath* you too. Both of you. *Bri smiles* And thanks. I was seriously worried about what was going to happen for a while.

*Bri sits up*

Spiderman: *who can't wipe the smile off his face cause he (technically) got to kiss Bri* That's what we're here for. Well… that and saving other citizens too.

Bri: right… but how'd you find me

Batman: *starts to speak*

Spiderman: *interrupts* My Spidey Senses! Aren't they cool?!

Bri: Oh really? Well, what are your Spidey Senses telling you I'm about to do

Spiderman: *slightly worried* um…slap me, like Batman….

Bri: *thinking* tempting… but no…

*Bri leans in and kisses Spiderman*

Batman: Oh great, he's never going to stop talking about this you know?

Bri: What and you will? *Bri goes to kiss Batman who accepts* Um.. guys… can I ask you a favour.

Batman and Spiderman: Sure! Anything!

Bri: great, but first, Batman, do you have a spaceship?

Batman: *flatly* no *then smiles* I have a Batship

Bri: Great, cause we're going to need it

*Bri, Spiderman and Batman are all perched in the Batship entering space* *Bri has told them all about Alex and how she has stolen Obi-Wan from her*

Spiderman: *remarks about Alex* evil little butthead

Bri: yeah, but be careful around her. If you get as love-struck around me as every other girl you encounter, you'd better be careful cause she's far prettier than me.

Spiderman: *staring at Bri* no, I think this was just a one off…

*Bri turns to look at Spiderman who immediately turns away*

Bri: Yeah, sadly, I think so too

Batman: *clearing his throat to break the slightly awkward silence* so, Spiderman, I think we're gunna need you Spidey Senses again to help us find this evil twerp

Spiderman: right *concentrates* take a left at the next asteroid, then a right, jump into hyperspace and I'll tell you where to go from there

*Batman obeys* *Bri starts randomly bopping in her chair*

Batman: you want some music to go with that bopping?

Bri: Nah, I'm right *smiles and keeps bopping*

*Batship jumps into hyperspace* *Bri, Batman and Spiderman all sit back and relax and play The Game of Life* *By the end, Batman is still single and has two kids, a boy and a girl, Spiderman is single, broke and childless and Bri is married (to a piece she has called ewan) with 4 kids, is very rich, is an actor and has the best life ever!*

Spiderman: *scoffs* I hate board games

Batman: *packing up board game* Deal with it kid

Bri: *sitting on the couch smiling with her feet up on furniture* Well, I thought it went very well

Spiderman: *scoffs* yeah, for you

Bri: whatever *shoves absolutely delicious Crunchie bar in her mouth and takes a massive bite* *offers to Spider man who nods eagerly* Sorry! Winners only! Haha, nah, I'm kidding, here you go *smiles and hands over the chocolate* *Spiderman takes a small bite and hands it back* *Bri declines* *Spiderman eats the rest of the bar happily crunching away to himself*

Batman: so…. Are we there yet?

Spiderman: Hm?

Batman: I said, are we there yet?

Spiderman: *looking psychic again* my Spidey Senses say…no

Batman: *rolls eyes* great…

Spiderman: but we're close..I can feel it

Bri: As can I

*Batman and Spiderman both look at her, puzzled*

Bri: I have the force, duh! I can feel her presence…. *pauses* and Obi-wans…. I sense…. I sense he is… depressed… overcome by feelings of longing…for me *looks at Batman and Spiderman* aww.. isn't that sweet

Batman: How do you know it's not a trap?

Bri: Since when can you fake emotions?

Spiderman: she has a point.

*there is silence*

Bri: *suddenly* STOP! Take the ship out of hyperspace! She's slowed down

Batman: *correcting Bri* _Bat_ship

*Batman turns on ultrasensitive and cool cloaking device that is completely undetectable and brings the Batship out of hyperspace*

Batman: how close should we get to it?

Bri: wait, don't go yet. There's something I have to do first. Just make sure she doesn't disappear.

*Batman obeys* *Bri whips out her 'new and improved' light saber*

Spiderman: wow! Cool! Can I have a go?

Bri: *snaps* no! *pulls light saber away from him*

Spiderman: *recoiling* sorry

*Bri pulls out her sonic screwdriver (it's a Dr Who thing) and gets to work trying to repair her light saber*

Bri: *looks up to see Batman and Spiderman are watching her* hey, I didn't ace my mechanics classes for nothing

*Bri tinkers with the light saber some more*

Bri: finally, finished. Let's test it out *Bri tests light saber to find out that she has in fact enhanced the power, made it unbreakable and invincible and has made it slightly longer than it should be* *smiles proudly* perfect

Spiderman: *gobsmacked* wow…

Bri: I know… *smiles* now we can go

*Batman starts up the Batship and they fly, undetected, to Alex's ship*

Bri: lemme out here

Spiderman: wait! I'm coming with you!

Batman: We both at

Bri: this is my business now. I thank you for all your help. By the way, Batman, what's you page number?

*Batman gives Bri his number*

Spiderman: *muttering to himself* ...they never ask for _my _number…

*Bri goes back and kisses both of them and then disembarks the ship, waving both of them goodbye*

Bri: *talking to herself* I'm gunna miss that Batman …and his Batship of course

*Bri sneaks through the ship to the control room* *everyone is in there except for Alex and Obi-Wan*

Bri: guys! Oh my gosh! It's so good to see you all again! I'm so sorry I had to lock you up! I just had to make sure she wasn't suspicious

*Everyone turns to look at Bri and smiles* *Everyone runs in for a group hug*

Han: Bri! It's so good to see you!

*Chewy roars in agreement* *R2 beeps* *Anakin and Luke won't let go of her*

Bri: Man, it's so good to see you're all safe. She hasn't done anything to you has she?

Luke: Not as long as we have complied with her wishes…by the way.. I have something to tell you… I kinda stole your million points and gave them to Alex…

*Bri stares angrily*

Luke: *quickly* But! I have her bank account details and have been transferring her money over to repay you.

*Bri keeps staring*

Anakin: technically it was her ship though

Bri: yeah, and she trapped me in it. She had to compensate somehow. A million points sounded good at the time

Luke: But not now?

Bri: No, it still sounds good now

*Everyone laughs*

Bri: Anyways, any ideas about how to get out of here?

Han: *shaking his head* nah, we're pretty much trapped. She's got us on pretty tight security

Bri: mustn't be too tight if I made it this far

*Obi-Wan appears in the doorway*

Obi-Wan: Or I made an exception on my parole

*Bri turns around*

Bri: Obi-Wan! *Bri runs to him and holds him in a tight embrace* *he wraps his arms warmly around her*

Obi-Wan: *pushes aside her hair and kisses her lightly on the forehead* *quietly* Hey, Bri

*they stay like that for a while* *Han coughs* *Bri releases Obi-Wan*

Bri: *pushes her hair out of her face* so, Obi-Wan, any ideas of how to get out of here?

Obi-Wan: Only one, but first, can I see something? *holds out his hand* Your light saber

*Bri hands him her light saber, slightly puzzled*

Anakin: *meakly* Sorry about that by the way

Bri: meh *Obi-Wan activates it and a long, powerful blue glow streams from it* I was able to, modify it and make a few enhancements of my own

Obi-Wan: *slicing it through the air* Not bad, not bad at all

Bri: *bows sarcastically* Thank you, thank you very much

*Obi-Wan hands back Bri's light saber* *R2 beeps*

Obi-Wan: You read my mind R2

Bri: *tugging on Obi-Wan's robe* *whispers questioningly* What are we actually doing*

Obi-Wan: *smiles cheekily* You'll see *winks*

*Obi-Wan leads everyone to the hanger where the storm troopers reside*

Obi-Wan: One good thing about being on Alex's ship and not being considered a suspect is that you can go anywhere, do anything and she won't know a thing. AND she'll tell you pretty much everything…including what she plans to do with you next

*Obi-Wan punches number sequence into a keypad* *Door in front of them opens*

Obi-Wan: she has way too many precautions

Bri: Yet clearly not enough *Obi-Wan looks at her questioningly* Well I made it on didn't I?

*They all walk into the room and sit with a group of storm troopers* *there are many murmurs*

Storm Trooper: I thought she was dead

Other Storm Trooper: I thought she was frozen in carbonite

*more murmurs*

Bri: Hey everyone! *Everyone runs in for a group hug*

Storm Trooper: Good to see you again

Bri: Right back at ya, now, we have a favour to ask

Storm Trooper: What can we do to help?

*Bri turns to Obi-Wan*

Obi-Wan: Got any spare uniforms?

*Everyone is dressed in Storm Trooper attire (except for R2, chewy and 3PO) and are not wearing their helmets*

Bri: *turns to Obi-Wan* I can't believe we're doing this

Obi-Wan: Do you want to get out of here?

Bri: Of course I do *kisses him*

Obi-Wan: then let's go!

*Everyone puts their helmets on* *the doors open and Alex walks in*

Bri: *through intercom* act natural, don't draw attention and blend in!

*Alex moves towards the Storm Trooper Bri spoke to earlier… or was it a different one? …stupid suits….*

Alex: Hey, I need you to secure the ship

Storm Trooper: Um… why? We're on a break

Alex: I have a feeling in my gut…

Storm trooper: Are you sick?

Alex: NO you idiot! It's a gut feeling! Something's wrong! Secure the ship!

Storm Trooper: OK, jeez, don't get your knickers in a twist *whispers to fellow storm troopers over intercom that Alex can't hear* She sounds like my Chemistry teacher from High School

*Everyone laughs over the intercoms and Alex just stands there with her arms crossed staring into space, slightly angry…* *Bri becomes very tempted to use the force to do something to humiliate Alex*

Luke's voice in Bri's head: Do it! It'll be hilarious!

Anakin's voice in Bri's head: You know you want to

Luke's voice: I say we make her spill something

Anakin's voice: Nah! Make her wet herself!

Bri voice: Boys! Boys! Calm down. I have something better in mind

Obi-Wan's voice: Bri, no

Bri: aww… but-

Obi-Wan: No buts! We need to get out of here. *pause* you can do it just before we take off

Bri's voice: Yes!

Alex: ….just keep a look out

Bri: *over intercom* did anyone just hear what she said?

Han, Luke, Anakin and Obi-Wan: Nope

Bri: *chuckles* cools then

*Alex spins and storms out of the room*

Obi-Wan: We should send Alex a message, telling her that a bunch of Storm Troopers are just gunna do a couple of rounds (A.K.A. us) and then we can leave

Bri: But not before-

Obi-Wan: *interrupting* I know

Bri: *smiles* good …wait… actually.. I just had a better idea….

*Bri whispers her idea to Obi-Wan*

Obi-Wan: *nods* I like it *smiles*

*Bri smiles evilly*

Obi-Wan: Now, now, save that for later *kisses Bri lightly on the forehead*

Luke: soooo… do we tell her we're here or what?

Bri: *looks at Obi-Wan* leave that to us

*Bri and Obi-Wan progress down the corridors to find Alex who is in her quarters*

Bri: *to Obi-Wan* I'm gunna need you to pretend that you care more about her than me for a little bit

Obi-Wan: But-

Bri: No buts, it's only for a little bit. Can you do that?

Obi-Wan: *sighs* OK, for you *kisses Bri lightly*

Bri: Great. Now, I need you to go in there and turn her so she's not facing the doorway. Then, I'll sneak in and, well, I think we both know what happens from there. *smiles* One more thing first though *Bri whips out computerised tablet and hacks the computers and cameras* *Bri opens the video of Alex's chambers* There, now I'll know exactly when to come in

Obi-Wan: That's only one of the reasons why I love you

Bri: *smiles* *gets out of the way of the doorway so she is not seen when Obi-Wan enters Alex's quarters* I'll see you very shortly

*Obi-Wan enters the quarters* *Bri watches video transmission form the next room* *Alex turns as soon as the door opens*

Alex: Obi-Wan! *Alex runs towards him and gives him a hug which he awkwardly accepts*

Obi-Wan: hey… oh, hey, look! *leads Alex towards the large window* It's a star

Alex: yes… they're always there. *looks at him worriedly* what's wrong with you?

*Obi-Wan opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by Bri*

Bri: Oh, nothing much… just, me

*Alex turns wuickly to face Bri* *Bri force pulls Alex's light saber away just as she goes to grab it* *Then Bri uses the force to choke her until she falls unconscious*

Bri: *looks at Obi-Wan and smiles childishly* I've always wanted to do that

Obi-Wan: *examining Alex* not bad my young Padawan. Not bad at all. I fear, that soon you may no longer be my Padawan. We should however, be able to fight by each other's sides, as Jedi Masters.

Bri: I look forward to that day

Obi-Wan: As do I, Bri. Now, we should get her out of here.

Bri: Right *beeps for Chewie, Han and the rest of the crew*

*Everyone appears very quickly*

Bri: Han, Chewie, I need you to carry Alex to one of the ships, and make sure it's big enough for all of us

Obi-Wan: might I suggest *strokes moustache*

Bri: *thinks of something else* What about…? *brushes eyebrow to indicate taking over the ship*

Obi-Wan: *nods* I never thought of that

Bri: So, we should keep her in here, tie her up, so we can keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't go anywhere or do anything, plus, it means that if she wakes up I can knock her unconscious again.

Han: Okay, so what do you want us to do?

Bri: I need you to go back to the control room. We're going to Earth.

Han: Earth?

Bri: Use the GPS you twat

*Bri and Obi-Wan tie up Alex and sit her in the corner of the room, away from the door, window and everything* *they also strip her of any means of communication, weapons and anything else she can use against them* *Obi-Wan and Bri sit down on the bed*

Obi-Wan: cards?

Bri: You want to lose don't you

Obi-Wan: I won't this time

Bri: We'll see… deal!

*Bri and Obi-Wan play cards for a long time* *Neither of them are sensing Alex which means she is still unconscious* *they are nearly at Earth*

Bri: *placing down her last card* I win! Told you!

Obi-Wan: *puts down a card* actually, I think this would make it a draw

Bri: You are getting good

*Bri's beeper goes off*

Bri: *answering* hello

Han: Bri, we're nearly at Earth, where exactly are we going?

Bri: I'm sending through co-ordinates now *sends through co-ordinates* But first, I need to make a quick stop…

*Han lands the ship somewhere that can never be spoken of because it is so secret that if anyone ever tried to say the name they would be shot on the spot and Bri gets out to bargain with the dealer* *Bri walks back to the ship with a smile on her face*  
Bri: Result! Now… is there room on board for an Earth Drill?

Han: *almost speechless* yeah, I guess so….

Bri: great

*Bri drives the drill into the ship and Han pilots them to their next stop* *not long after the ship arrives at its destination*

Bri: *sighs…* ahh…. Egypt *Obi-Wan appears behind her* *Bri looks at him* Ever been here?

Obi-Wan: No

Bri: Me either. It's nice though. The pyramids have always fascinated me

Obi-Wan: *savouring the word* pyramids….

Bri: we should get out the drill, we have a lot ahead of us

*Bri drives the Earth Drill out of the ship* *Everyone manages to fit in* *Han starts it up and begins to drill into the sands and Earth*

Han: Where exactly are we going?

Bri: Straight ahead. To the bottom of the pyramids

Han: well, this things as slow as my grandmother so this could take a while

Bri: *snuggles up against Obi-Wan* I'm not complaining. Wake me when we get there

*Bri falls asleep against Obi-Wan and is later woken when they reach the bottom or the pyramid*

Obi-Wan: *shaking Bri gently* Bri, we're here

*Bri wakes up*

Bri: perfect. Let's get Alex

*They go to get Alex and everyone else piles out* *Bri and Obi-Wan have Alex and meet up with the others inside the tomb*

Anakin: You know, we could put her in the sarcophagus

Bri: that is to typical of you, but I like it *smiles* *Bri checks her for any weapons, forms of communication or anything else she can use to get out of there, then makes sure she's still unconscious* We're good to go. *to Anakin and Luke* would you do the honours?

Luke and Anakin: gladly

*Luke and Anakin open the sarcophagus, put Alex inside and then close it again*

Luke: It's a pity we didn't have any mummy wrap

*Chewie roars in agreement*

Bri: well, we should head back now. I have other things to do as well. I have some training to catch up on.

*Everyone piles back into the Earth Drill*

Bri: Okay, Han, you're going to have to reverse it and whilst you do that, I'm going to replace the dirt so she has very little chance of escaping. She'll either have to go through the pyramid, facing trap doors, curses, endless dark tunnels, booby traps, scarabs and other weird bugs, everything else that you get caught up with in a pyramid, etcetera etcetera or find some other way out. I wish her luck.

Luke: awww, we should've left her a note

Anakin: Oh, I got that covered

Bri: Yes, I saw that, I also read it, and replaced it with my own. I mentioned similar things, but I just had to make sure. *walks over to Anakin* At the risk of sounding like I don't trust you *kisses him on the forehead* I just had to be on the safe side

Anakin: *dazed* That's fair, I guess

Han *coughs* We should, probably get going.

*Everyone settles in their seats and Han start the engine*

Bri: Obi-Wan? Luke? Could you please help me with filling the hole? I just don't think I have enough energy to do all of it.

Obi-Wan: It would be my pleasure

Luke: And mine

*Han reverses the Earth drill and Bri, Luke and Obi-Wan fill the hole so Alex can't get out* *They finally fill the hole out of the way*

Bri: now, the sand and earth matter may be loose but there's too much for her to lift. Let's get out of here, we deserve a holiday

*everyone boards the ship with their arms around each other and they take off heading for the stars*


End file.
